The Moment That Changed Everything: The Power of Boundary Setting

By Dr. Preeti Mistry

Someone recently asked me: “When was a turning point in your life where you started to change how you showed up?”

That question took me back to my days working as a clinical dentist in a corporate setting, long before coaching, when I was navigating a challenging and emotionally demanding work environment.

I found myself constantly people-pleasing, thinking that if I was friendlier and more accommodating, others would treat me better with respect, refrain from crossing lines, and finally stop offloading all their tasks onto me.

But the opposite happened. The more I gave, the more I was taken advantage of—left to juggle being the dentist, the assistant, and even the phone messenger, all at once.

Then one day, the breaking point came. A coworker lost her temper and yelled at me—at the top of her voice—in front of everyone. I felt so small. So humiliated. I broke down crying when I could find some time alone.

That was the moment I realized something had to change. I didn’t deserve to be treated that way.

A voice inside me had whispered, “What is this trying to teach you? This can’t just be happening for no reason.”

The answer came in the silence: I wasn’t standing up for myself.

I had to do the one thing I had always avoided—having the difficult conversation. And when I finally mustered up the courage, while my nerves were still jittery, I faced her and had an honest conversation behind closed doors. With a deep breath, I explained how I felt and what I needed going forward. I was nervous and scared of backlash, but to my surprise, something unexpected happened.

She backed down. She listened. She understood. And she never treated me disrespectfully again.

What surprised me even more was how I felt afterward.

Instead of regret, there was peace.

Instead of shame, there was self-respect.

Instead of fear, there was a quiet, unfamiliar sense of power.

My friend, this is what setting a boundary does for you, especially if you are someone who still struggles to put your needs first.

From that point on, I started saying no—politely but firmly—to tasks that weren’t mine, focusing on what I was truly meant to do then: dentistry.

It wasn’t easy at first. I faced resistance and discomfort, and even though old habits tempted me to give in, I kept showing up as this new version of myself—walking away when necessary, standing my ground, and refusing to be diminished.

Gradually, things shifted. I gained respect. I earned a quiet kind of leadership—not through title, but through how I showed up.

I also became the designated representative for other dentists and hygienists, standing up for them even when they were afraid to speak for themselves, and helping to foster a sentiment of unity. That experience shaped me profoundly.

For a long time, I kept this story to myself. I thought it was in the past, something disconnected from who I am now. But the truth is, who I am today—the coach, the leader, the person helping others set boundaries and show up fully professionally, personally and romantically—was deeply shaped by what happened then.

Different hats, still me. Whether in the dental office or in coaching sessions, the core lessons of self-leadership, respect, and courage have been my guide.

If you are ready to start leading yourself well in your life and relationships, let's talk. And on this call, we can uncover what has been getting in the way for you living your most fulfilling life. Click here to book a complimentary strategy call.

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Dr. Preeti Mistry is a Certified and Accredited Conscious Leadership, Dating and Relationship Coach with over a decade of experience in corporate dentistry. She specializes in helping high-achieving women in medicine and dentistry lead well from within, cultivating emotional intelligence, communication skills, and self-trust to transform their professional and personal relationships. You can learn more about her here.