Burnout in Healthcare: What Leaks Out When You’re Running on Empty

By Dr. Preeti Mistry

Not long ago, I went to see a doctor I had been genuinely looking forward to meeting. She came highly recommended, and I arrived at that appointment with real hope — the kind you feel when you believe you're finally in the right hands.

What I experienced, however, was something else entirely.

She saw me nearly over an hour late, and without so much as a brief acknowledgment of the wait, launched straight into a stream of frustration — no lunch, exhaustion, and more than once, the phrase "wanting to retire". The energy in that room was frantic and heavy at the same time. And then came the moment that stung the most.

Through the language she used and the way she moved through our visit, I felt, unmistakably, that she didn't have the bandwidth to take me on. That I was one case file too many.

There were things I was a little embarrassed to share, concerns I had worked up the courage to voice, and when I did, they were dismissed before they could land. I left feeling unseen, and honestly, a little rejected. And when a question came up later that evening about a prescription, I left two messages through the portal and waited seven days until I had to call to finally receive a response, never once feeling like a priority.

I want to be clear. I am not here to judge her. I saw her. I recognized her. Because I have been in healthcare myself, and I know what it looks like when a woman is running on empty and has been for a long time. What stayed with me wasn't anger. It was a quiet, sobering question: does she know how much is leaking out?

Burnout isn’t just exhaustion. It’s a slow erosion of presence — and that’s what your patients feel. It impacts your ability to connect and create emotional safety, often in ways you don’t even realize.

And yet, I have noticed again and again among women in healthcare, physicians, dentists, and other clinicians, that the idea of looking after yourself, of genuinely taking care of yourself, gets brushed off with surprising ease, giving me the impression that it is understood intellectually but with no real intention of doing anything about it.

There is always something more pressing. A full schedule, compliance deadlines, inventory, new regulations, staff questions, the hundred small fires that come with running a practice or showing up to one. And when the topic of self-care does come up in conversation, most women will acknowledge it. They'll nod, maybe even laugh a little, and then pivot right back to the grind. As if taking care of themselves is a nice idea for someone else, at some other time, when things slow down. And things never slow down.

Why Women in Healthcare Are Especially Vulnerable

Being a woman in healthcare comes with a double whammy. As a woman, you were likely conditioned from early on to be the caregiver, to tend to everyone else's needs before considering your own. And then as a clinician, you were trained to equate dedication with overextension, as though setting a boundary somehow makes you less committed, less caring, less of a provider. The two together create a perfect storm.

But here is what that storm costs. As my experience above showed, when you are stretched beyond your limit, it doesn't stay contained within you. It spills into the room. Your patients feel it. Your staff feels it. The people at home feel it too. And the version of yourself that is showing up is so far removed from the one you once envisioned when you first chose this path.

The real cost of not taking care of yourself isn't just felt at work. It ripples into your relationships, your presence at home, the way you lead and the way you love. All of it is connected.

Three Ways to Start Leading Yourself Well Again — Even When You’re Exhausted

Even when you feel overwhelmed, swamped, and completely disconnected from yourself, there are things within your control. Here are three places to start:

1. Name what you are carrying before you walk into the room

Before anything else, pause. Just long enough to ask yourself honestly: "how am I actually showing up right now?" Not how you wish you were showing up, or how you think you should be. How you actually are. Because what you carry into that room doesn't stay with you. It enters with you. Your patients feel the weight of it even when you say nothing. Awareness won't fix everything, but it is always, always the first step.

2. Reclaim the micro moments that belong to you

Not everyone controls their own schedule. In many healthcare settings the system books you, the day is mapped out before you arrive, and lunch is a concept more than a reality. I understand that. But even within a structure that leaves little room, there are small moments that still belong to you if you choose to claim them.

The two minutes in your car before you walk in. Close your eyes, just be, or ground yourself.

The thirty seconds between patients- take a minute instead- where you take 1-3 conscious breaths.

The way you transition from work back to home, perhaps listen to a song you love.

These moments are not nothing. They are where you either pour a little back into yourself or let the drain continue. The choice, even within a system that controls much, is still yours in the small spaces. And you might be surprised what even one small moment can do. Honestly, I wouldn't have minded if that doctor had taken ten minutes to eat before walking in, if it meant she arrived fueled, grounded, and present for me.

3. Get honest about whether you are just functioning or actually present

Functioning gets you through the day.  Presence is not only what your patients feel, but also what changes how the day feels to you. It is also what the people in your life feel, your partner, your children, your friends. There is a version of you that is physically present and goes through the motions, and then there is a version of you that actually arrives, emotionally attuned, grounded, and able to hold space for those around you. Burnout is what pulls those two apart. And bridging that distance doesn't begin with a vacation or a new schedule. It begins with an honest look at how you are relating to yourself. Because you cannot give presence you do not have.

Final Thoughts

Taking a pause, claiming a small moment, choosing yourself in the in-between spaces — that is where it starts. And I want to say this gently but directly: the world will not fall apart if you do. But you might, slowly, if you don't.

Although I am not a burnout expert, how you relate to yourself and how well you lead yourself from the inside out is what I work with. Because that shapes not just your work, but your relationships, your presence, and your quality of life. In my experience, burnout is often a symptom of a deeper disconnection from self. And that is exactly where my work lives.

If any of this resonated, I want to invite you to take one small next step. Start with a short quiz — it takes just a few minutes and gives you a real picture of where you are and what tendencies you may currently be exhibiting that are contributing to your situation. And if you're ready to go deeper, I would love to connect. Book a call with me and let's explore together what it looks like to lead yourself well, so you can show up fully, for your patients, and for yourself.