Leading With Love Through Conflict
- Preeti Mistry
- Jan 23
- 3 min read
by Dr. Preeti Mistry
Relationships, whether romantic, friendships, or otherwise, can be complicated. Especially when conflict arises.
In those moments, it’s easy for each person to become locked into their own perspective. What they felt. What they meant. What they think the other person did wrong. And before we know it, we’re pointing fingers, keeping score, and defending our side of the story.
But here’s a deeper truth most of us don’t pause long enough to see. In almost every relational rupture, there is contribution on both sides.
It doesn’t have to be 50–50. The percentages can be different. But very rarely does a situation exist in a vacuum, created by only one person.
When we’re activated, our nervous system narrows our vision. We protect our dignity. Our needs. Our values. And in the heat of the moment, we often lose access to curiosity about the other person’s inner world.
That’s why one of the most powerful things you can do in conflict is this: Pause.
Take a few deep breaths until your body feels more regulated. If you need to step away for a moment, it’s okay to excuse yourself.
Because in most arguments, both people are protecting something meaningful to them. Safety. Respect. Autonomy. Love. Being seen. Being valued.
And when those deeper values can be honored on both sides, something new becomes possible. A solution that isn’t about winning or losing, but about understanding and choice.
Here’s something else that often gets overlooked.
One argument, or even one ongoing unresolved issue, is not automatically a reason to walk away from an otherwise meaningful relationship.
There is so much more to any relationship than one moment. One conflict. One hard season.
When we’re in pain or frustration, our mind can shrink the entire relationship down to the current problem. We start telling ourselves, “This shouldn’t be this hard,” or “If it were right, we wouldn’t be dealing with this,” or “Maybe this one thing means everything is wrong.”
But sometimes the presence of conflict isn’t a sign that the relationship is broken. Sometimes it’s a sign that something important is trying to be named, understood, or renegotiated.
And not every conflict ends in a happily ever after. Sometimes the solution is coming closer together. Sometimes the solution is parting ways because the differences can’t be reconciled. And sometimes that, too, is an act of self-respect and clarity.
But unless we stay curious and are willing to go beneath the surface, those deeper values never get uncovered. And how deep two people are willing to go often depends on the level of trust that already exists between them.
There are so many layers in every relationship. And sometimes what we default to in conflict isn’t who we truly want to be. It’s just the part of us that learned how to protect ourselves a long time ago. (For example, maybe you over-explain and try to fix everything. Or maybe you get sharp and defensive before you even realize it.)
As a certified conscious dating, relationship, and self-leadership coach, I support people, particularly women in healthcare, in navigating these moments with more awareness, compassion, and clarity, whether the relationship is romantic, professional, or personal.
If you're in the middle of something that feels confusing or unresolved in your most cherished relationships or a developing relationship, romantically or otherwise, you don't have to carry it alone. You’re welcome to reach out and start a conversation.
Dr. Preeti Mistry is a Certified and Accredited Conscious Leadership, Dating and Relationship Coach with over a decade of experience in corporate dentistry. She specializes in helping high-achieving women in medicine and dentistry lead well from within, cultivating emotional intelligence, communication skills, and self-trust to transform their professional and personal relationships. You can learn more about her here.
